Diary of My Separated Shoulder

Dec. 11, 2009 early morning.

Dear Diary,

It's moving day! We're moving from this large 4-bedroom home to a much smaller second floor flat/condo - downsizing at its best. But all the hard work will be worth it. Bring on the movers!

~

Dec. 11, late evening.

Dear Diary,

Well, the move didn't go as planned. Not at all. The movers came alright. They were doing a great job packing up their van. The problem was me. I fell. Hard. Very Hard. I had gone outside to go to the car and I slipped on some hard snow and landed on my left side. Did I mention that I fell hard?

Diary, I remember lying there on the snow thinking, "this cannot be happening, this did NOT just happen." But it did. If anyone ever tells you that they've separated their shoulder and it hurts, believe them: it was the worst, most intense pain I have ever felt in my life.

I had an anterior separation that required me to be "out" to put back in. Did I mention it hurt?

~

December 14

Dear Diary,

Went to see the orthopedic surgeon for follow-up. There were others there with shoulder injuries, not to mention all the other broken bones and stuff. Anyway, the doctor said my shoulder is exactly where it's supposed to be and I can start physio. Oh joy. It still hurts.

Problem is, when you do a good job separating your shoulder, it's not just the bones that shift, you stretch or tear the ligaments all around the shoulder. That's what causes a lot of the pain and, uh, discomfort.

~

Christmas Day

Dear Diary,

Boxes are still everywhere. I'm not allowed to use my arm to move, lift or anything. My physio warned me that it could dislocate again at any time if I'm not careful. Decided not to wear my sling to family Christmas dinner because it clashed with my outfit. Yeah. Right. That was a bright decision (NOT).

~

December 29

Dear Diary,

Much improvement in my shoulder although still painful. It seems it's the muscles that are causing all the pain. They're very tense and knotted so we have a bright idea of me seeing a massage therapist the day after my physio sessions. Oh boy.

~

December 30

Dear Diary,

Whose flipping idea was it to go for a massage???? OWWWWW

~

New Year's Day

Dear Diary,

Shoulder still hurts. Is it going to stop hurting eventually? Well, maybe if I stop using it but how can you not react when you open a cupboard and something comes falling off the shelf right towards your head? Of course your arms (notice the plural) are both going to go above your head to protect yourself. Ouch.

~

January 5, 2010.

Dear Diary,

Woohoo, physio says I'm allowed to move my arm a whole 20 degrees away from my body. Also have exercises to strengthen the muscles again. Standing against the wall, forearm against it and gently push for three seconds times 10 times. Same with the wrist. Who would have thought that an arm can get tired of doing such a simple exercise?

~

January 6

Dear Diary

Saw the doctor again. Shoulder is healing, woohoo! She did, however, caution me. Said I have to be more careful. Does that mean I can't play indoor soccer at the end of the month. Physio is frowning on that idea. Also saw the massage therapist again. Not as bad today. I have a feeling I will not be so generous tomorrow morning after I wake up.

~

January 9

Dear Diary,

IT'S BEEN ALMOST A MONTH. Can you please tell my shoulder that it's had enough time off and it's time to start being a team player again?

Thanks.

Entertainment or Way Beyond: A Child's Death Twittered

Twitter has been in the news, for better or worse, for the past year or so. Some people use Twitter for the odd updates, others are addicted to it or like to use it for shock value. One famous case occurred just a couple of months ago when Penelope Trunk twittered about her miscarriage during a meeting.

Some people were disgusted with her cavalier attitude, while others applauded her for her open communication. Others just shrugged their shoulders in a "what can you do? fashion.

But now, Twitter and its reach is under fire again, for a much more tragic reason. Shellie Ross, a 38-year-old mother, twittered that her son was drowning - her two-year-old son. He had fallen into the family swimming pool and emergency services were trying to rescue him.

Many people are harshly critical of Ross and her twittering. There were reports that she twitters extensively and this gave people license to blame her twittering for lack of parenting. Of course, this can't be a conclusion to be drawn - we don't know the woman at all. But it's out there. But, is that really that issue that is drawing such ire? Or is it the fact that someone has the presence of mind to twitter as people are trying to resuscitate her child?

I'm sure that the last thing on her mind was to draw such attention to herself and her family tragedy. The loss of a two-year-old is a major, major tragedy. But she has, unwittingly, brought this to the attention of millions of people.

Is twittering for entertainment only? Or, as Ross meant it to be, for support and prayer at a time of extreme need? What do you think?

~~~

Dislocated shoulders, concussions and a move: still very grateful

It's been a busy few months. We sold our house after having it on the market for about 8 months, bought a new place in the city (we were in a suburb) and moved. It all ended up happening quite quickly once we sold our house.

Stress takes a toll on your body, whether it's a good stress or a bad one. It's known that changing jobs - even a good change, moving, marrying, divorcing, having a baby, and so on, are all stressful times in our lives. It's important to stay healthy during those times because once you do start getting run down, it's hard to get back up to full form.

Luckily for us, we stayed pretty healthy for the most part, although I think that stress did get to us from time to time.

This past Friday, the 11th, was moving day. The big day. So, as the movers were taking the furniture from our home, I went to my car and, before I knew it, I was on the ground - in agony. I have no memory of falling at all, just lying on the ground with a shoulder that hurt more than anything I'd ever experienced in my life. Worse than childbirth, without a doubt.

It turns out that I separated my left shoulder, so off to the hospital for some major drugs to knock me out so they could reset the shoulder. In the meantime, the move was going on. Thank God for capable children who are now adults. They had no idea what to do, but they managed and they did a fantastic job.

After five hours (about) in the hospital, my husband and I headed for our new home. Of course, now I can't do anything, so all my plans are out the window. After a quick supper, the youngest (18) goes off to coach floor hockey as he does every Friday night. Problem was, while he was there, he whacked his head good and hard on a wall overhang as he ran down some stairs. The result? A mild concussion and sutures in his scalp. Oops. That's got to hurt.

Ok, so now the new place is a mess and two of the three people living here are out of commission. but you know what? That's ok. That's very ok.

The place is perfect to me. The bathroom that I had redone, is perfect, amazing, gorgeous. It fits the style of this 1930 building perfectly. The rooms are actually big enough for the furniture I kept; I thought it was going to be crowded.

Despite being just below a busy street, it is so quite and peaceful here, very similar to what we left. Very, very quiet, even at night. It's likely noisier in the summer when the people in the apartment building next door have windows open, but that's city living, right?

I love the place.

Some people thought we were nuts moving into a second floor flat/condo but I think it was exactly the right thing to do.

Oh, did I mention that I absolutely love the place? I never felt this way about any of our previous homes. *This* is the one that was meant to be. :-)

Sore shoulder? Yeah, but that will go away. This feeling of being home? That, my friends, is here to stay.

Dec. 6, 1989, Violence against women

December 6, 1989. It was a day like many others. I was at home with my then 2-year-old son and my 10-month-old daughter. Nothing of the day would have stood out except for a horrible event that began in the late afternoon.

As we watched the evening news, the drama - the unimaginable - was happening. One gunman, Marc Lapine, had entered Ecole Polytechnique, the engineering school of the University of Montreal. He told the male students to leave. He began shooting the women. By the end of it all, 14 young, bright, promising women had been murdered by a man who resented that they were in the school and not he. Ten women and 4 men were physically injured. And many, many other people, both men and women, were left with the pain of losing their daughter, sister, lover, cousin, aunt, or friend.

The images of the ambulances outside the building, the snow falling in big wet flakes, will always stay with me as I held my own daughter. That same daughter who, 17 years later, was in the building at Dawson College when a gunman opened fire, killing one student. Although she wasn't near the cafeteria where the tragedy occurred, she was in the building and had to be evacuated like thousands of other students. Seventeen years after the Polytechnique massacre, we were again faced with guns and violence in a school, a place where we like to feel our children are safe.

At the time of the Polytechnique, I didn't know if my daughter would grow up to become a lawyer, a business woman, a chef, a teacher - or an engineer. I grew up around engineers. My father taught in the mechanical engineering department at McGill. I know what kind of people, very bright, intense people, study in this field. I know that women were sorely under represented, but it was a man's world back then. And so it was to Lepine too, as he wiped out the lives of 14 young women and forever changed how many Montrealers see the world.

Gun violence in Canada is something that we're often proud doesn't happen here very often. But someone who is going to do horrible things is going to find a way to do it, no matter what. And, Lepine also had a hunting knife - which he also used on at least one woman after she was shot, say news reports.

There have been vigils and there will continue to be vigils in honour of the 14 women who died. But we also can't forget those who survived the trauma, those who lived through seeing their peers killed. We can't forget the families who lost their loved ones. December 6 is a day of remembrance in Canada for all women who suffer from violence. Let's hope that one day, women don't have to be afraid of some men. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing?

• Geneviève Bergeron (born 1968), civil engineering student
• Hélène Colgan (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
• Nathalie Croteau (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
• Barbara Daigneault (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
• Anne-Marie Edward (born 1968), chemical engineering student
• Maud Haviernick (born 1960), materials engineering student
• Maryse Laganière (born 1964), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique's finance department
• Maryse Leclair (born 1966), materials engineering student
• Anne-Marie Lemay (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
• Sonia Pelletier (born 1961), mechanical engineering student
• Michèle Richard (born 1968), materials engineering student
• Annie St-Arneault (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
• Annie Turcotte (born 1969), materials engineering student
• Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born 1958), nursing student