New Year: New Resolutions? Maybe Not a Good Idea

It's the same thing every year: come the holiday season, we start hearing from gyms, exercise companies, diet gurus, and all other types of life improvement people and groups, all encouraging you to contact them so they can help you keep your New Year Resolutions. The typical ones are, of course, losing weight, getting fit, spending less money, spending more time with the people you love, and so on. But while the intention is good, is making such resolutions such a good idea? Does it work? If you're like most people - probably not.

Most our flaws, as we may see them, come from years of accumulation. That extra 30 pounds you're carrying around? That didn't just happen over a few weeks. Your smoking habit? It didn't start last month. Spending too much money? Surely that's nothing new. In other words, it took years to get where we are now, it seems almost foolhardy to think that it can take only weeks to get out of these habits.

The other drawback is that New Year's Day is an arbitrary day on the calendar. It's only one of 365 (or 366) days and it's really not that much different from any other. Except perhaps in a bad way: there is a lot of pressure on that one day. Because it is a new year, people expect others to proclaim that they will honour that new year with a new twist on life. And they'll watch you. Promise you'll lose weight? What will your friends and family say when they see you having a beer or helping yourself to a second scoop of ice cream?

All this isn't to say that we can't and shouldn't make changes. Most of us do have areas where we can improve our life. So if picking the first day of a new year isn't the right thing to do, what is?

Pick a date

First, don't be pressured because of the time of year. Allow yourself to choose when you want to make the changes in your life. Experts who help people quit smoking often say to pick a quit date - so you can do the same. Pick a date when you feel it would be good for you to start going to the gym, stop watching so much TV, start organizing your messy room, and so on. But pick a date that doesn't have any strings attached to it. Pick a day that is just an ordinary day. Write down that date, circle it on the calendar, and tell others if you think it will help. Do what you can to ensure that you will be ready when that date comes.

Make a lifestyle change - not a habit change

It's all so negative: I have to stop smoking. I have to lose weight. I have to become more organized.... Rather than focusing on what you have to do (or feel you have to do), focus on what you can do to help achieve the goals. If you want to stop smoking, changing habits that encourage cigarettes may be a big help. Do you join coworkers for a coffee and cigarette at break time? Why not go for a walk and have a cup of tea instead? Do you always have a cinnamon donut from the coffee shop on the way to work? Why not stay at home a bit longer and make your coffee, enjoying it there? Do you see the difference? You're not trying to deprive yourself - you're trying to change the circumstances so you don't engage in the behaviours you are trying to avoid.

Don't bite off more than you can chew

As mentioned already, these habits didn't just start overnight and they won't stop overnight. The best way to make stop doing something that you feel is harmful is by making lifestyle changes overall. If you want to start exercising, start out with something manageable, that you would be least likely to ditch because you can't do it. Don't pay a fortune to join a gym that you may not use. Just start walking, outside if possible. Walking outside gives you the advantage of scenery, people watching, changes in terrain, and getting some fresh air. You can choose to walk just a few blocks in the beginning, walking farther and farther as you become used to it. You can walk alone or with a partner. And it is very do-able. You can add to the walking once you are comfortable with it. Join a class maybe, go swimming, or do some other activity. Gyms are great places to work out, but before committing the money, be sure that the gym is a place you will go.

If you're trying to lose weight, don't look at *all* the weight you have to lose. It may be too overwhelming. Why not start at losing the first 10 pounds or going down a clothing size? If you give yourself smaller goals, you are much more likely to reach them.

Focus on the positive

Did you miss walking three times out of five days last week because of commitments? Don't beat yourself up. You walked twice, right? Did you walk most of the days the week before? Will you walk most of them next week? Don't focus on what you didn't do - focus on what you DID do.

It's the same thing for losing weight. Were you eating a healthy diet for the past few weeks? Did you just slip up and have a couple of glasses of wine at dinner and then a bigger piece of birthday cake than you felt you should have? Ok, you did. But what about all those other dinners where you didn't have wine and didn't eat cake? Those have to count for something, don't they? Don't focus on the "slipping," focus on the times you felt you did what you wanted to do.

Celebrate your successes

Reward yourself. The carrot is so much more appealing than the stick. If you have a goal, such as going down a clothing size, tell yourself you can buy a new pair of jeans. If your goal is to become more organized in your bedroom, promise yourself a new book or pair of earrings if you manage to keep it organized for a set amount of time. Do you want to exercise more? Treat yourself to a special coffee or lunch after you've walked a certain amount of days. Of course, things are often better if done and celebrated with someone else, so if you have support, take advantage of it and let others help you celebrate.

Forget the New Year Resolutions. Make changes in your life when you want to make them because you choose to make them.

Bone marrow transplants - would you consider being a donor?

This is a reprint of a blog post from 2008, but the topic is as timely now as it was three years ago.

Many people donate blood. Many people have signed organ donor cards. But how many people are registered to be able to donate bone marrow?

Bone marrow donation has a lot of misconceptions but if everyone who gave blood - and those who didn't - would register for bone marrow donation, the number of lives that could be saved would be astronomical.

According to the Canadian Blood Services, and keep in mind that the US is not that different, "About 1,500 Canadians have received transplants through the Canadian Blood Services Registry. However, even with millions of donors on registries worldwide, a perfect bone marrow match isn’t always available."

First, what is bone marrow and why is it so darned important?

Bone marrow is the soft tissue that is found inside our bones; it's the spongy tissue in the breast bone, ribs, hips, pelvis, skull and spine. The role of bone marrow is to make blood cells - white blood cells to fight infection, red blood cells to carry nutrients from the lungs to the body tissues, and platelets that allow the blood to clot.

People with diseases that affect the bone marrow die of infection or inability for their blood to clot. The most commonly known disease that requires bone marrow transplant is leukemia, although there are many more.



What is involved in being a donor?

Not too much initially, really. First, you need to register and your local blood collection agency needs to know what genetic make-up you have. So, that means providing a swab from inside your mouth or a vial of blood for testing.

After this has been tested, you are entered into the bone marrow data base. Now - you may never ever be called - or you might. If your marrow is found to be a match to someone in need, anywhere, you will be called and asked if you still want to donate. This is a critical moment - if you register to donate, you just may be called.

Waiting for a donor to be found is tough. A friend of mine waited for a donor. One was found and she was so cautiously optimistic. Something happened, however, and the donor backed out. My friend was devastated - as were we. Finally, a donor was found, but I can't imagine what must have been going through her mind while she waited for it to actually happen.

How is the bone marrow taken from you and given to the recipient?



Bone marrow donation is typically done as day surgery although you could be kept in the hospital for a day or two. There's no doubt that there  is some discomfort involved. You will feel soreness in the hip area for a few days after the procedure, but it isn't unbearable.

You would receive either a general anesthetic or a spinal before the procedure is done. The marrow is removed from the large bones of your pelvis using a needle. Afterwards, if you need, usually over-the-counter medications will relieve any pain. The marrow is then processed and the recipient gets it through an IV.

Are there any risks when donating?

Donating marrow is a medical procedure and no medical procedure can guarantee that there are no risks. However, that being said, considering the number of bone marrow donations done, it's been found that it is a very safe procedure. The risks do include a reaction to the anesthetic and infection where the needle was injected. Rarely, there may be some tissue damage.

So, we're back to the question: Would you consider becoming a bone marrow donor?

Identifying Anxiety and Seeking Help

Stress and anxiety aren't new feelings/emotions, although we seem to have tried to corner the market on it these days. People worried and stressed over life and family since time began. Hunters had to find food. Nomads had to find safe places for shelter. Farmers needed their crops to grow. Parents needed their children to stay healthy and grow up to adulthood, and the cycle continued as society changed and developed. Some eras were more filled with worry than others, but no matter what, humans always had something to worry about.

Today, our stresses and anxieties are very different, yet they are strikingly similar at the same time. Many people worry about how they are going to feed their families and keep a roof over their head, because they aren't working or they are one of the millions of working poor. People stress over their or their loved ones' health; sons, daughters, spouses, and friends are still going off to war; farmers still are at the mercy of the weather; and children still pull away from their parents, going off on adventures and spreading their wings. But what seems to be so different is how we are dealing - or not dealing - with our stresses and anxieties.


There is now more acceptance to admitting to stress and anxiety than may have been a few generations ago. There is so much acceptance that a whole industry has sprouted with the goal of helping people manage or avoid stressful or anxious feelings. But how do you find which one works for you? Do you need to spend a lot of money trying different methods until you find a way of easing your anxiety? What if you worry about never being able to stop worrying?

There's no easy solution. It's not always a terrible thing to be anxious sometimes; the problem is how often and how anxious you feel. If your anxiety is keeping you from living your life as you would like it, keeping your from trying new things, and is making you feel badly about yourself, then it's probably best that something be done about it.

Identify the cause

If possible, you need to identify what is causing your anxiety. Do you get anxious if you have to do something, like get in an elevator or meet new people? Are you worried about your performance at work, your children, or your health? Do you feel that you're anxious about just about anything and everything?  If you want to try to manage on your own, there are many options, from trying meditation and yoga to following self-help programs and reading advice books or columns. No one method is good for everyone. If you've heard of a great book that helped your cousin and when you read it, it does nothing for you - don't give up. That just means it wasn't the right thing for you.

Self-help programs

Be cautious when trying different programs or techniques. If you are reading information on the Internet, check first to see that the website is credible and that the information you are reading is helpful, not harmful. Some simple tricks to check out a site's legitimacy is by checking the "about us" section. Who is running the site? Who is writing the material? Does the site have any back up from a university or some organization that is known in the field? How long has it been running and - an important thing - are they trying to sell you something or promise you a miracle cure?

If the site is trying to sell you something, is it something that must be bought or is it something that can be obtained for free elsewhere? Google the program and read opinions and comments - not just the good ones! Is the site promising you a miracle cure or a guaranteed outcome? If so, it may be a good idea to run away as fast as you can. Nobody can guarantee a positive outcome and there is no miracle cure, as much as we would like one. It's tempting to want to believe it, but it's not going to happen. 

Asking for help

If you're not the type to go it alone or you feel that your anxiety and problems have gotten to the point that you can't deal with them alone, there are other options. Visiting and speaking to your family doctor (or nurse practitioner) is the best place to start. By doing a physical exam, your doctor may be able to rule out a physical problem that could be causing the anxiety and he or she may be able to refer you to a counselor, therapist, or psychologist to help you learn how to manage your anxiety.

Therapy

Therapy does seem like a scary word to many people. They may envision being prescribed medications that may change their personality or having to speak to someone who just mirrors back what they're told. But therapy comes in many forms and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. As a consumer, which is what you are when you are seeking help, it is essential that you find the right fit for you. This doesn't mean just finding the right type of therapy, but the right therapist. There could be three therapists offering similar approaches to helping manage anxiety, but two of them may not be the right ones for you simply because of personality differences or there just isn't that "click" that you need, and know, when you find the right person.

Finding a therapist

The best place to start to find a therapist would be by recommendation. Ask your doctor or nurse practitioner if they know of counselor or therapists that they would recommend. If you're comfortable, ask friends if they know of anyone. If you do visit someone who has been recommended, don't feel that you have to make it work if something doesn't seem right. A therapist who works well with one person may not be a good fit for another. It happens all the time - don't feel you must stick with someone just because he or she was recommended.

In addition to getting referrals, you can check lists of accredited counselors in your neighborhood, or call the licensing bodies or organizations. It may take a while to find a therapist who you trust and with whom you can work, but it's worth the effort in the long run.

Allow yourself to heal

Anxiety can be all-consuming. It can overwhelm you and seriously affect your quality of life. Learning to manage your anxiety can be just as frightening because you may discover issues that you would rather not delve into or it just may be hard work that you didn't think you would have to do. But if you stick with it, if you work with your therapist or go it alone, the results on the other side of the journey may be very surprising: happiness and contentment, with a minimum of anxiety. Isn't it worth the try?